07 April 2007

Perfect Mommy

I almost laughed out loud-
I needed a picture to illustrate my post for today, and I found this one listed under the title,
"Terrific Parenting"!
Well, good parenting is certainly in the eye of the beholder.

We are safely in Mesa, Arizona... tired, but warmer than most of you reading this.
Getting here was exhausting. I may tell that story later.
Today we went to Wally World to stock up on supplies that Big Bubba doesn't keep on hand-
Coffee, sweetener, Diet Soda, beer.
I'm sortofa a picky beer drinker. I want beer that tastes good, but you know me... I don't want to pay much for it. It was the first place
I stopped on my shopping sojourn. Since we're only gonna be here four days, I bought a six-pack... that's enough to cover this visit.

So picture this-
I'm tired and cranky from our marathon day getting here yesterday. I'm pushing a cart that is totally empty with the exception of this six-pack of brew in it. I walk to the end of the aisle to turn and start down the aisle for the Diet Soda when I encounter "Terrific Mom" and her approximately four year old daughter.
"TM" takes a look at my cart, then stops short and says, "Uh-oh sweetheart! That's the aisle with ALCOHOL! We don't drink ALCOHOL! We need to go find the aisle with soda in it!"
At first I thought it was just odd, and a little funny.
But the more I thought about it, the more I realized I had just received a sermon. I accepted the challenge. I decided it was time for a counter-sermon!

I followed TM to the soda aisle, located the Diet Soda and put it in the cart next to the evil brew. As I passed TM I looked at the innocent daughter, smiled my "Mr. Rogers" smile and said, "Hi, I drink alcohol" in the kindest Greybeard voice I could manage.
TM looked like I had slapped her, but thought she was up to the assault-
"Well, we know that's not good for you, don't we honey?"
But facts were on my side-
"Actually honey, studies have shown that a couple beers a day lower blood pressure, reducing the chance of heart attack and stroke. Those are the facts. Your Mommy might need to do a little more studying!"

Obviously the daughter couldn't have cared less what I was saying, but being faced with facts, TM finally realized she needed to shut her mis-information hole and move on.
No, I don't think TM will immediately go back to the ALCOHOL aisle to buy a liter of wine so she can lower her blood pressure...
My hope is that she'll teach her daughter the pleasures of walking the aisles of Wally World quietly, keeping sermons to yourself.


joker said...

I needed a good laugh and that did it. LOL
"Hi, I drink alcohol."


Teller said...

Good stuff. I'll drink to that! Enjoy Phoenix, it's perfect weather right now!

Garrett said...

Makes you wonder what other silly notions she puts in her kid's head.