26 December 2021

He Killed a Man.

Have you ever killed anyone?
I have.
How many? I have no idea. My actions were done from a distance. "AAR's"... "After action reports from the field would inform us-
"Seven enemy combatants reduced". But since there were always two helicopter gunships involved in our missions I could always remind myself it might not have been my finger on the trigger that "reduced" the number of folks that were trying to kill me... and my fellow team members.

We watched three movies yesterday. First was "Mrs. Miniver", a movie that finds itself in the Top Five of my favorites of all time.
Next in line was "Christopher Robin", followed by "Goodbye Christopher Robin".
And I think we watched those two in the wrong order. The first is a wonderful production by Disney Studios that is a mix of animation and real action, and does a great job of introducing us to all the "Winnie The Pooh" characters brought to "life" by A.A. Milne.
The second is a biography of Milne and tells us why he brought Winnie and all the characters to life.
He was FERVENTLY anti-war, having been involved in the "Battle of the Somme" in WWI, a HORRIBLE affair involving Mustard Gas that killed and maimed many, many combatants.

I have a friend of many years that I have tried pretty desperately to stay in touch with. Let's call him "Len".
During some rough times early in my military training, Len helped me to keep my sense of humor and sanity. He helped me to make it through my OCS training. He tried to get into Flight School at the same time I did, but was rejected... he could not pass the necessary physical.
So he went to Ranger training instead. When he finished that, he went to Viet Nam as an advisor to the Vietnamese troops.

In this function one day, in the jungle, he came face-to-face with a young North Vietnamese soldier. Both men raised their weapons simultaneously, but Len's shot rang out first and found its mark. The Vietnamese soldier fell face up on his back.
When Len went over to search the soldier for anything that might be of use to our intelligence forces, he saw that a ray of sun had focused on the young man's face. It was surreal. The young Vietnamese had a wallet with photos of him with his wife and child, and that has impacted Len's life in ways someone who has never "fired a shot in anger", or "killed others from afar" can imagine.

I think of Len often. I'm reminded of him when I watch a movie of someone suffering from "Shell Shock" or "Combat Fatigue" or PTSD, or whatever we're calling it these days.
I'm grateful for the good memories I have of the time we spent together all those years ago. And I'm aware that everyone has different experiences in life and reacts quite differently to those experiences.
I'm glad I never had to look at the face of a man I just killed, illuminated by a beam of sunlight shining through triple-canopy jungle.

War IS Hell.
I wish we could all get along.
But even blood relatives cannot get along. How in the world can people of totally different cultures avoid disputes?

Still, we must try.
If for no other reason, so we can say "Well, we tried".



2 comments:

Ed Bonderenka said...

A sad business.

Old NFO said...

That is all we can do...Try...