07 December 2012
We Didn't/Don't See Eye-To-Eye.
Dads see things through older eyes and through the lens of experience.
Sons MAY know things have changed, and need to help Dads to understand.
Some can do it... some can't.
I'm glad my Dad knew how much I loved and respected him BEFORE he died.
I hope my (already good) relationship with my son gets better and better through the years.
How's your relationship with Dad?
If it ain't good, FIX IT.
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I listened to that song on the way home after hearing my father died.
"I wasn't there that morning - when may father passed away.
I didn't get to tell him all the things I had to say."
Some songs brand your soul. That one did.
Dad needed me clearly ON HIS SIDE but after being browbeaten by my mom, I knew if I took his side, we'd BOTH pay for it: forever.
This is my lasting shame that, to this day, breaks my heart.
Sometimes we have to learn that there are irreconcilable differences between us, Jess.
I hope you aren't beating yourself up for something you couldn't change.
But to others, if you CAN change circumstances, it will pay dividends to do it sooner, rather than "too late".
My relationship with my dad was very rocky until we both grew up. Watching him die of liver cancer was a life altering event for me also.
Fixing your relationship before it's too late is sage advice my friend!
Luckily, I got to see my dad before he died. I was only 9, but I still remember the day, and telling him I loved him.
CnC and I grew up with a dad who thought the only way to show his love for us was to be very strict. I was 32 years old before he told me he loved me. It was December 19th. He died at the end of the next January.
His last week he made up for all those years of silence. Some of his last words were how much he loved us. He kept repeating, "Always will. Always will. " until his voice grew silent. We had those words engraved on his headstone.
As CnC said it really was a life altering experience holding his hands while he passed from the earth nearly 21 years ago.
Now our family never ends a visit or a phone call without our I love you's.
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