On my way to work Saturday night, the ceiling was overcast and gray except for a sliver of sky next to the horizon, perceivable as about an inch of blue.
As the Sun slowly made it's way Westward, it began to transform this piece of sky......
the color was like lava flowing down a volcano at first.....a brilliant red-orange.
Then the Sun itself popped from behind the overcast, and it was too brilliant to look at directly. But I knew I was in for something special once it began to hide behind the edge of the earth.
I also knew the beauty would be fleeting.
Sure enough, as it dipped below the horizon, the sky turned the color of lava once again, only this time the edges of cloud were tinged with a brilliant silvery-yellow hue.
Slowly the underside of the overcast was illuminated, and the entire sky above me turned the color of molten lava. As the Sun continued it's journey, that color changed to purple, then magenta, then reddish-gray, and finally the Sun gave up the stage and dusk prepared the world for the coming darkness.
This whole scenario unfolded in less than ten minutes.
If I could have stopped time.....
captured that moment so I could savor it fully, I would have.
I was in Baltimore, Maryland when I found out my Dad was dying.
The company had purchased a BK117 in Italy and had shipped it to Baltimore. I was there to inspect the aircraft, and finding it as advertised, with the help of a mechanic, mount the main and tail rotors on it and ferry it back to the Midwest.
As luck would have it, the trip took me right over the town where my Dad was hospitalized. I got to stop and see him.
In my 20 years of EMS flying, much medical information has found it's way into this thick skull. From what I had heard I knew Dad was in big trouble.
Dialogue with my sister, Mommanurse , filled in the blanks........
It was just a question of time.
Again, if I could have stopped time right then, I would have.
Dad had been a lifelong smoker. He resented our attempts to get him to quit.
Now his habit had caught up with him.......he tried to put on the "Brave face", but everyone could see through it........he was obviously frightened about what the future held for him. We were all frightened for him.
Over the next months, Sis and I took turns giving Mom as much relief as we could in taking care of Dad. It was a painful process to watch, knowing that he was in pain and uncomfortable, because we knew the next day would only be worse, and the next worse than that. He was on the downhill slide.
I didn't want Dad to die, but I didn't want him suffering, either.
Time, time, time........
It just marches along, oblivious to our wishes.
I'm not old, but I'm no longer young.
Very soon I will be old.
My memories are overwhelmingly good......
I've said before that my life has been blessed......
I've had a Guardian Angel on my shoulder watching out for me, guiding most of my decisions.
But as I age, I find it SO easy to be melancholy.
I see beauty in so many things......Sunsets and Sunrises, family, other relationships.
I'm upset that these moments of beauty slip away so quickly.
Jim Croce wrote "Time In a Bottle", and then his flame went out.
The lyrics to that song are worthy of your attention.
If they don't make you melancholy, you and I are not on the same planet.
Try as hard as we might, we cannot stop time.......the inevitable is just over the horizon.
I don't want to waste these moments........I want to enjoy them to the fullest.
Being melancholy is bittersweet.......
It comes only when we know we are experiencing something beautiful that we want not to end so quickly.
I read this post to Sara Jean and she said, "Gosh Greybeard, you're gonna have everyone depressed and considering suicide!"
I think some men go through their own form of "Change of Life", and maybe that is what I am experiencing when I'm melancholy.
It was not my intent to depress you, but to share my thoughts and see if others have had similar experiences.