09 April 2009

Bananas

Do you like bananas?
Are you sure?
Back in the "bad old days" of the first Carter admnistration, economist Alfred Kahn incurred the wrath of the President by pointing out we likely were headed into a recession. President Carter didn't want Kahn pointing out his leadership was causing voters extra strife in their lives and asked him not to use the word. Kahn apologized, and announced henceforth when talking about recession he would instead use the word banana. I have always loved this sort of behavior... pointing out the idiocy of idiots.

So now, here in the second Carter administration, we have more idiotic behavior by idiots.
Homeland Security Secretary Janet Napolitano is uncomfortable with the phrase "War On Terror", so she instead uses the term, "Man-Caused Disasters".
Now we all can understand this, can't we? War is such an ugly thing...
It brings to mind stuff like explosives being detonated, or even airplanes crashing into tall buildings. No one wants to be reminded of that.
And "Terror" is no better...
The thought of beheadings or homicide bombers is not something about which I want to be reminded. But "Man-Caused Disasters"?
That's not much of an improvement!


First, there have been plenty of women "homicide bombers", so why blame all this on men?
I'm offended!
Let's change that to "Person-Caused", okay?

And "Disaster"?
How can anyone feel comfortable thinking about disasters? So I can't even be comfortable suggesting the phrase "Person-Caused Disasters". I think we need to follow Alfred Kahn's lead here, and come up with a term that will give everyone the "warm and fuzzies".
He already used "banana", so we can't use that. But how do you feel about "Peach"?
Do peaches make any of you uncomfortable?

So there's my suggestion Secretary Napolitano-
Instead of "War on Terror" or "Man-Caused Disasters", from this point on when referring to the unease caused by Fascist Islamic fundamentalists, please use the phrase "The Peach".
And life will be beautiful all the time!

The country is in good hands, folks.

5 comments:

cj said...

You're way too funny at times.

The Peach.

I'll never look at them in the same way.

cjh

jinksto said...

Nice choice! Now the next time someone flies an airplane into a building we can tell everyone that things are just peachy.

Does this also mean that anyone who accidentally causes a disaster will get charged with a terror crime?

Joe truck driver falls asleep at the wheel and drives his truck of fuel oil into a lake... do we call EPA or Homeland Security?

Rita said...

Peach is perfect. That was Crown's nickname when he was in the National Guard. Well, actually I think it was Peaches given to him from a drill sargeant. Peaches, I mean Crown was never good at taking orders.

wksaz said...

I was very happy when we here in Arizona got rid of "Nappy" as one of our former congressmen calls her.

I was just hoping it would have been to a different country, not to the head of the class.

I think she helped mobilize the Acorn fraud corps here in AZ and was given a big reward. She has always been a panderer to the minority vote.

I know a few people at DHS and the boots on the ground are holding their breath right now.

She's a real peach of work.

wksaz

cary said...

Yes, we're glad she's gone.

Yes, we're sorry she's in charge of more now.

Yes, everything is, indeed, "peachy."