24 August 2007

Opening The Pores!

I do this sort of thing to myself all the time-
I needed to make a deposit to my checking account.
It's Friday. I check my watch: 1:30 P.M.
Any deposit I make after 2 P.M. will not be credited until Monday morning. "The check is in the mail", and by that I mean the check I have written that requires covering.

The bank is exactly 3 miles away. It's a perfect time to use the bicycle, rather than burn hydrocarbons, right?
I fill out the deposit slip, grab the deposit, put on my helmet and sunglasses, and push the bike out the door. A quick check of the watch: 1:45 P.M.
Three miles in 15 minutes= 12 miles per hour. Piece of cake!

I've been shirking my bike riding, walking 2.2 miles daily with Sara Jean instead.
It takes all of 3 minutes to realize muscles used walking aren't in play here...
I turn southbound into a 10 knot wind and quickly wish I had just inserted a key into the car ignition.
It's hot. Let me restate that... IT'S HOT!

At the halfway point I'm in trouble. I have 5 minutes to get in the door and make the deposit, but progress is slow. Wind in my face, tar bubbling up from the road grabbing my tires, and those same tires are a little low on air...
If I was lookin' for exercise, this would fill the bill!
Gasping for breath, I step up the pace.

At the bank I dismount, push the kickstand down, and force rubbery legs to walk to the teller's window. My heart is sayin' "Hey! What's goin' on here?"
The teller takes my deposit and asks "How are ya?" (The time-stamp on the deposit is 1:59!)
"Dyin'! Too hot to ride the bike!"
"I'll say! You realize it's 103 degrees, don't ya?"
No, I hadn't.
When I check, I find the relative humidity is 85%.

Sixty years old.
Temperature of 103.
Humidity 85%.

Let's see now...
60+103+85= Stupidity

Check my figures and see if I'm in error!


Unknown said...

YIKES! I'm impressed. Sounds like you're actually in better shape than you think. You survived!

Radio Patriot

Oshawapilot said...

The last time I rode my bike (in cool weather, at that) so many things hurt the next day that I cursed it for weeks.

I remember as a kid riding *everywhere*.

I've also realized I'm not a kid anymore. :)

The Old Man said...

Too soon we get old and too late smart, eh bruddah? As you know, when I ride my bike I turn a key..

BTW - as the lovely and talented wife says - timing is everything. 1359 indeed!

cary said...

Wow. And I thought bike riding was out of the question here, with only 55% humidity.

Glad to hear you made it; I second ASK with - You are in better shape than you think!