Am I different than everyone else?
When I am bored with the computer on my lap I poke around and check on people that once were important in my life...
Past associates.
High School class and schoolmates.
Old flames.
And ex wives.
I was doing that today. There are several old girlfriends I would LOVE to know what has happened in their lives since I last heard from them.
I've found a few.
Too few. The search goes on.
I've had two wives.
I cheated on the first and she didn't take kindly to that.
My second wife is wonderful... treats me like a King. After divorcing "the second-best wife I ever had" I was gunshy about remarrying and lived with my present wife 10 years before I finally figured out I wanted to keep her. My present wife resented the second-best wife I ever had BIGLY because of that.
Today I was bored and started doing what I always do when I'm bored.
I surfed around trying to find lost people from my past. And there it was-
Her obituary. Complete with photo and long narrative about what a dynamo she was.
She was a teacher. I have no doubt she was a damned good one. Some of the condolence notes rave about her.
I paid for her Master's degree in education. I'm glad my money improved our world.
It's still a gut punch.
Divorce is generally ugly. Ours certainly was.
I couldn't realize at the time that she was doing me a great favor.
And I'm oddly sad.
06 November 2020
Sad. Just Sad.
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9 comments:
I find myself wondering about old boyfriends, how they are doing. Often there is no way to find out as I only married one man. The thing is I would keep the old boyfriends as friends if it was up to me. Once i love someone, that doesn't go away even if the relationship can't work. Unfortunately, many don't see it that way and they prefer to never hear from an old love. We are all so different for how we handle love.
Sorry for your loss even though she wasn't in your life, it's still a loss.
I lost her 44 years ago, Rain.
I'm glad we divorced.
I just wish we had done it before I strayed.
Never easy. My ex died alone, estranged from her children, from a lifelong habit of drinking soft drinks in excess. I am saddened by what could have been.
Soft drinks in excess?
That tweaks my curiosity, WSF.
Sorry for your loss. Sometimes life punches hard, at unexpected times.
That tweaks my curiosity, WSF.
That woman would drink two or more Big Gulps in a day. She bought soft drinks by the case. In her late thirties she had her gall bladder removed. Nothing seemed to stop her. Why all that sugar consumption didn't give her diabetes was a miracle. She constantly developed bone spurs in her heels.
This was a woman with a MENSA level I.Q. She avoided alcohol as her father was an alcoholic. She damaged or wrecked several cars from not wearing her glasses (despite having over a dozen pairs she couldn't find).
During our 26 years together, I never strayed nor was verbally or physically abusive. Towards the end she did. What our life would have been had out first born not been autistic and our second child developing Asperger symptoms after his childhood inoculations can only be the subject of speculation.
Correction on the verbal. I once said to her, "I'm getting you a glass belly button so you can see where you are going with your head up your ass". Perhaps I should have phrased that differently.
This post has provoked a couple VERY personal messages from friends by other methods.
I questioned whether I should publish it, but it has started some chat that could be good therapy.
I'm glad I posted it.
I know where my ex is. Doesn't talk to our boys. My wife is their mom in all but genetics.
I don't look back.
Can't look back/redo the past. Decisions were made on BOTH sides. Condolences, but one moves on.
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