I got wrinkles.
I got sags.
My eyebrows are a rat's nest.
I got skin tags and "LRB's"... (little red bumps) poppin' up all over me.
My back frequently reminds me I'm no longer 23.
My ears and eyesight are headed to Cuba.
But the worst of it?
I'm finally resigned to regularly taking a medication...
If I don't, my heartburn makes all the above seem trivial.
Just shoot me.